Daemons, Angels and the truth about Heaven
by amberthefool
Summary: DISCONTINUED
1. Prologue 1

//=daemons thoughts // +=people's thoughts  
  
Will walked along the street, annoyed after having missed the last bus after school. He had a three-mile walk ahead of him now, and it looked like it would rain any minute. It was a cold day, and he pulled his fleece around him for comfort. He ran his hand through his jet-black hair, his dark eyes stormy to match the weather, and he thought back as he walked. Things were very different now from the way they had been three years ago. His life had been in bits and pieces, and he had, it still chilled him to think of it, murdered a man. He had had to run from the law, and would have been in serious trouble. Bt somehow, he had managed to get it sorted out, with the help of Mary, of course. He didn't know how him and mum would have managed without her.  
  
*flashback* (A/N: there will be quite a few chapters of flashback, as you need it for the main plot)  
  
he walked quietly with Mary to her flat, too afraid to speak lest the tears would return. But somehow, she understood, and they walked in a comfortable silence. Upon reaching her flat, she set up a sleeping bag for him in the living room, and began to make them both cups of tea.  
  
As he sat there, comfortable and warm, a thought suddenly struck his mind. +How COULD I have been so stupid and forgotten about her?+ //Will, what is it, Will?//  
  
Mary watched in astonishment as he suddenly jumped up, spilling half of his tea and ousting Kirjava from his lap in the process.  
  
'What's the matter, Will?' she asked, puzzled.  
  
' I. I don't know how I could have been so selfish and stupid, Mary' he answered.  
  
'Slow down, Will. Tell me what you mean.'  
  
'My mother, I left her. She's still at Mrs. Cooper's, by herself. And I forgot' he said, tears choking back his last sentence.  
  
'Oh, Will. You've just had a very hard time, and it's understandable that you would forget. Don't blame yourself, we can go and get her now.'  
  
' It IS my fault. I'm supposed to look after her. You see, she can't do it herself, and what if something's happened to her?' he asked, looking up at Mary.  
  
+Look at him. He's so young, and he has far too much responsibility on his shoulders. He looks lost, and all alone. + // Get your act together, Mary Malone, he needs you now.//  
  
Mary did a half-jump in surprise at the thought from her daemon, and then smiled shyly at him when she realised he was right.  
  
'Come on, Will, we'll go and get her right away. She can come and stay here with us.'  
  
'Really?' Will looked at her questioningly, with relief showing in his eyes.  
  
'Yes' she answered firmly twenty minutes later, they were at Mrs. Cooper's doorstep. Mary knocked at the door. A little while later, Mrs. Cooper opened the door, obviously annoyed at being woken up in the middle of the night.  
  
'Will?' she exclaimed, surprise written on her face.  
  
'Yes, Mrs. Cooper.' He answered politely. 'I've come for my mother. She can go home with me now.'  
  
The old lady smiled genuinely at the lost-looking young boy, and then looked enquiringly at his companion.  
  
'Of course, I'll take you up to her bedroom. And may I ask who the lady accompanying you is?'  
  
'let me introduce myself.' said Mary. 'My name is.' //No, you mustn't use the real one,don't you think you might have been mentioned in the papers at least?// Mary thanked her daemon gratefully for his timely intervention. 'My name is Paula, Paula Pullman (A/N: Yes, yes, I know. no, it isn't a badly written "coincidence")  
  
'Hello Paula. Nice to see that there's been someone to take care of Will. Now, let's find your mum, shall we?  
  
Will followed her up the stairs, grateful that the tiresome introductions were over, and that he would see his mother for the first time in what seemed like months.  
  
'Now, this is her room. The guest bedroom, you see.' She opened the door, and called out 'Will's here, dear. Your little boy has finally come back. Alice?' (A/N: no idea what her actual name is)  
  
Will noted the worry in her voice, and quickly pushed past her into the bedroom. 'Mum?' he called. 'Mum? Where are you?'  
  
After will's futile search, the room was proved empty, and his gaze finally fell to the back of it. The window overlooking the garden was open, and a faint warm breeze came through it, moving the curtains slightly.  
  
His stomach dropped, and he felt like it was filled with lead.  
  
They were on the second floor.  
  
+No!+ // No!// they thought in unison.  
  
**end of chapter**  
  
A/N: first fanfic I've ever done, please read and review.  
  
Please? 


	2. Prologue Two

Hey there, everyone. Thanx for the review Lellida, you were my first reviewer. ( *bows in gratitude* it has encouraged me to write this chapter. Yeah, Mary is the scientist and previous nun. I love your bio, it rox.  
  
Thanx a lot Vella (cool name) and Celtic Green, I really appreciate the reviews.  
  
Sorry this took a while, I have been busy(( I swear, my teachers are evil! Evil!!)  
  
Anyways, on with the story  
  
*Types frantically to get chapter up*  
  
Will rushed to the window, beaten to it only by Kirjava. He leaned over the edge precariously, dreading the sight that he thought he would see. He stood there, frozen with shock. Was he really seeing what was there?  
  
At the far end of Mrs Coopers neatly mowed lawn, he could see his mother, very much alive. She was floating slightly above the ground, and was surrounded by.angels? He had seen angels before, powerful ones, but these far transcended those. They were a brilliant glowing white, and they stood in a circle around his mother. Finally, he got over his shock? //What were they doing to her? What if, what if they were some kind of spectres? //  
  
With these thoughts in his head he raced downstairs, desperate to get to her before anything awful could happen.  
  
He panted as he neared her, completely out of breath. Trying to reach, her, he realised that he couldn't. There was some kind of barrier that was stopping him. He lashed out at it in frustration, only to be sent flying across the lawn. His head hit a statue by the pond which then cracked open, slashing his face viciously. He collapsed, a distressed Kirjava by his side, into a near faint.  
  
By this time, Mary had reached him. She tried to get to his mother, but was also thrown back. 'will, she whispered. Are you ok? Are you hurt?'  
  
But will's reply caught in his throat, his eyes fixed on his mother.  
  
One of the beings, a breathtakingly beautiful woman, had just laid her hand on his mother's head. 'Alice' she said, in a clear, musical voice, 'You must be strong. For will. One day, you will see John again, and you will be happy together again. For now, Be Healed!' as she said the last two words a brilliant burst of light shot from her hand and enveloped Alice.' Then the angels, because will was sure now that that was what they were, disappeared.  
  
Alice fell gently to the ground, and this seemed to wake her from her stupor. 'will, darling?' she said softly. 'what are you doing at Mrs. Cooper's house? In fact, what are we doing out here' she said, smiling at him.  
  
It was the first time will had seen a real smile on her face for years. Had the angel really healed her?  
  
He smiled back at her, wincing as the movement of his face caused his cut to stretch painfully.  
  
'will, are you hurt? My poor baby. Come here!'  
  
will walked over to her quickly. He may be tired and bruised all over, and there may be a permanent scar on his cheek, but his mother was better now, and it was worth all the pain in the world.  
  
~30 minutes later, and all have been introduced to each other~  
  
so, alice, where are will and you going to be staying?' asked Mary, curiously.  
  
'well,after what you've told me, I guess it isn't a good idea for us to go to our old house. I suppose it'll have to be a hotel.'  
  
'of course not!' exclaimed Mary. 'you must stay at my house. It can hold the three of us till we all figure out our plans, can't it?'  
  
'really, Mary?' asked will, smiling. The same bemused smile still hadn't left his face, and his hand was still holding his mothers.  
  
'yes' she replied, smiling back at him.  
  
And so, saying their thank you's and goodbyes to Mrs. Cooper, the three of them set off on their way again.  
  
Sorry it's a bit short, there will be far longer chapters to come. Please, please review if you have read it, the shortest notes will do, I just want to know what you guys think of it.  
  
NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Will and his mother may be reunited and happy again, but all three of them are wanted by the police, and must leave Oxford to take up new lives. How will they manage? 


	3. Prologue the Third and last, believe me

Hey guys, here's the third chapter. It is another prologue, but I promise we'll get on with the story after this one.  
  
Thanx very much for reviewing Celtic Green and Vella, you've really encouraged me with this. Thanx for the review Danny, lots of helpful suggestions and encouragement (. Yeah, I will try and get back to the present soon; it's just that some stuff has to happen so that the story in the present can be understood properly. I will try and hurry it up, though. And to all you leaders, thanx to Danny's note: Alice Parry=Elaine Parry, which is her real name, which silly people like me tend to forget  
  
So anyways, this chapter sees the three of them returning to a somewhat normal life again. I have taken big liberties with the name Pullman, please can you find it in your hearts to forgive me?  
  
I'm babbling again, I'll get back to writing it now ^_^  
  
//= Daemon's thoughts += People's thoughts  
  
'so, what are you two going to do now?' asked Mary.  
  
+great, Mary, you've gone and lost it again. Will was your only real chance of having a family again, but now he's gonna go too. Well done!+  
  
//learn to trust a little more// came back the thought of her daemon.  
  
'umm. We don't really know' admitted Elaine. 'I mean, I don't have a job as such, and we all seem to be wanted criminals' she continued with a soft smile. 'But at least we're back together now.'  
  
Will smiled at his mother and squeezed her hand, which he hadn't let go of since they had been reunited.  
  
'that's ok, mum. We'll find something.' He said quietly  
  
'if you guys have nowhere to go, please, feel free to stay here till you do, after all, we're in this together now, aren't we?  
  
//that's more like it// came the happy thought of her daemon.  
  
'that.that would be good, Mary.' Replied Elaine. For some reason, she felt completely safe in the company of this pretty, soft-spoken woman.  
  
'alright then, now we have to find out how to avoid the law. God, that's a phrase I never thought I'd say' said Mary, laughing.  
  
'I think we'll have to leave Oxford, too much has happened here' Will interjected.  
  
+and I'll never be able to get away from the memories of her here+ he thought bitterly  
  
//oh will, I know. I miss pan too. But things are going to get better// Kirjava said it with such hope that Will couldn't help but smile.  
  
Mary saw the brief expression of pain that had flitted across his features. +he shouldn't have to deal with these things+  
  
//then we must make the best of a bad situation, yes?//  
  
'that's a good idea, will. I suggest a place somewhere near London. it's a big city, and we have more chance of going unnoticed there, yeah? What do you think, Elaine?'  
  
'I think it's a really good idea, Mary. I could maybe find a job there too, finally be able to look after Will properly'  
  
+like I've never been able to do+ she thought guiltily.  
  
//then this is your chance to make it up to him, Elaine, it was never your fault.// she flinched slightly at the voice.  
  
+where did that come from+ and then she dismissed it as an overactive imagination.  
  
'yes, and I could find a job too, and will could return to school.' Said Mary  
  
+who knows, this might actually be your chance to start afresh, Mary+  
  
~Almost three years later~  
  
'will, are you ready for school yet?' came the enquiring voice.  
  
The nearly fifteen year old boy rushed down the stairs, hurriedly doing up his tie and putting on his blazer. He then crammed a piece of toast in his mouth, all the while being watched by two amused pairs of eyes at the table.  
  
'soffy mum, I go' cu' shfavin' came the mumbled reply.  
  
'that's ok, darling.' Came the amused reply. Over the last three years, Elaine's body had regained the shape that it had had when will was just a baby. Her weakness had nearly gone, and she could rarely be found without a smile on her face.  
  
'Mary will be taking you today. It's the grand book opening, and she'll be going your way. I have to meet with Tim about the Dashiell divorce case, so I'll be a bit busy.'  
  
(A/N: yes, she's a lawyer, and a clever one too)  
  
'ok, then. Ready to go, Mary?' said Will.  
  
'yeah, I have been for the past fifteen minutes. Oh well, I suppose I can still get to the opening in time.' She said, smiling.  
  
Mary too, had changed. Her black hair had grown, and now came halfway down her waist. It was thick and lustrous. She too, was nearly always in good humour, a smile making her brown eyes sparkle. She was dressed smartly is a skirt/suit, as today was a very important day for her, the climax of two years of feverish work on her part. Today was the opening of the first instalment of her trilogy, 'Northern Lights' (A/N: it's not too cringe worthy, is it?), the trilogy that would tell Will and Lyra's story. It was written under her new name- the one she assumed around everyone other than Will and Elaine- Paula Pullman. It was titled 'Her Dark Materials'.  
  
~later that day, at school~  
  
'hey Lee, you're in for it this time, dude' was the opening greeting to Will as he entered his form room. He was 10 minutes late.  
  
'Lee Pullman. Late. Again! Once more, and you will do an after school detention. Is that clear?'  
  
'yes miss' he replied in resignation, walking over to his usual seat.  
  
'hey Liz, hey Mick.' Thanks for your help in getting me out of trouble with Aston, he said, annoyed.  
  
'anytime, dude' smirked mike. 'anyways, how are you?'  
  
'I'm fine, fine, no thanks to you' replied Will irritably. Cutting himself while shaving always made him more snappy than usual.  
  
'don't be too harsh, Mick. Hi Lee, how's your mum going with that court case of hers. It's all over the papers, you know.'  
  
'she's fine, I'll tell her you asked.' Will replied, smiling at the sight of Kirjava playing with Liz's daemon. The two had become quite good friends lately.  
  
+but never as close as with Pan+ came the traitorous thought. +maybe that's why you're friends with Liz anyway, cos she's blonde, and pretty, and clever, and she reminds you of Lyra?+  
  
//no, will, that's not true// came Kirjava's anguished pine, //never like Pan, not even close//  
  
'.you ok?' someone was asking him a question. Liz.  
  
'what? Yeah, I'm fine' he said, waving her away.  
  
'oh, sorry, it's just that you seemed to black out for a moment there..'  
  
'for god's sake! I'm fine! Why does there just HAVE to be something wrong with me?!' he erupted.  
  
'Lee Pullman!' for that outburst you will serve a double after school detention! And not this week either, if that's what you're thinking. On the last day of term!'  
  
'will's stomach sank. He knew better than to argue with that tone of voice.  
  
'yes miss. I'm sorry.' He said, not daring to look up at her.  
  
~lunch hall~  
  
'Liz? Liz, I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me'  
  
Liz turned to face Will, hurt written all over her face.  
  
'if I was annoying you so much, then you could have just come out and said it' she said softly.  
  
'no! never! I'm just.well, it's been weird lately with my mum so busy and my aunt so stressed out. I've been really worn out, and I guess I just cracked. I never meant to do that to you. please believe me?'  
  
'oh ok, will, if you say that, then I believe you. but if it happens again..' She left it hanging.  
  
+Besides, it's so hard to refuse you when you have that puppy-dog expression on your face and your hair falls across your eyes like that..+  
  
'Friends, then?'  
  
'Yes. Friends.'  
  
'then let me buy you lunch, to make up for it.' He said, a smile playing across his face.  
  
And that was that  
  
~( ( END OF PROLONGED FLASHBACK ( (~  
  
But now, now he had just done a two-hour detention on the last day of term, and had missed all the musses and so had to walk home! And he was being avoided by moist of his former friends due to the success of Mary's book. 'rich kid' they called him now. Not to mention that yesterday had been the day when he had found Liz two-timing him with Mick, and had had to endure today being polite to her!.  
  
+why can't life be simple for me.+  
  
//it isn't simple for anyone, Will//  
  
+I know, it's just.. +  
  
//I wish she were here too, you know.//  
  
+I still can't get over it, I mean..when I was with her all my problems seemed to head out of the window. If only I could talk to her, for just a few minutes.+  
  
and that was when they had noticed her.  
  
Tall and slim, with long, shimmering auburn hair that framed her perfect face- she smiled and walked gracefully, her hand sometimes reaching up to stroke the beautiful black cat that was her daemon, resting on her shoulder. She seemed to be suffused with a soft light, almost ange.  
  
She could touch her daemon..  
  
What do you think? Please, please review even if it's only a short note to say what you think, I appreciate anything that tells me you guys actually want this story to continue ^_^  
  
By the way, I need names for Elaine's daemon and Mary's daemon, put any ones you like in the reviews, please? In the next chapter the real story begins. Any guesses as to the mystery woman/girl?  
  
*smiles mysteriously*  
  
you will find out soon. Mwahahahahaha!  
  
SPOILERS!!!!!  
  
Will meets the girl/woman, and he gets to know her, and then receives the biggest shock of his life. 


	4. On the brink

Hey there, thanx for the reviews Danny and Vella, they keep me going with this story ^_^ but to anyone else out there reading it who hasn't reviewed yet, please do, I appreciate it a lot (  
  
Danny: umm.what exactly is a Mary Sue? Is it like a goody-goody or something? Not sure, but I hope you like the personality of my *arches eyebrow dangerously and puts on thick Russian accent* mysterious new character.  
  
Btw, please can you guys come up with some good names for two male daemons? (Elaine's and Mary's) I'm really stuck for names at the moment (, so any help with that would be great. Anyways, you're going to have to put gaffer tape round my mouth with the way I keep babbling, so I'd better continue with the story before you have to take such drastic measures ^_~  
  
Oh yeah. *points down* pretty lines, no? ^_^  
  
//= Daemon's thoughts += People's thoughts ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
She could touch her daemon. The words wouldn't stop echoing around his mind. Why hadn't he thought it possible, that there would be others who could do that? Whatever the reason for her being able to touch her soul that way, he knew he had to find her, stop her, talk to her.  
  
And so he ran. In the time it had taken for his body to take control over his mind, which was still in shock, the girl was already five minutes away.  
  
'Stop!' his cry rang out through the still, gloomy night. 'please, stop. May I speak to you?'  
  
the girl turned around, her glossy hair framing her face, which held a curious look.  
  
'did you ask me to stop, boy?' she said in a soft voice. It made him want to forget all of his worries, just to bask in the warmth that it gave off.  
  
She seemed to realise this too, and said 'boy! What is it?' in a clipped, precise tone, snapping Will out of his reverie. Something about her clipped tone grated on his nerves, making him immediately angry.  
  
'firstly, I am not boy. You have no right to call me that when you're probably the same age as me! I have a name. It's Will. And secondly..  
  
+oh no, what am I going to do? What am I supposed to say now? +  
  
umm.secondly..is this yours?' he asked, desperately tugging a bracelet out of his jacket pocket.  
  
//will!// Kirjava protested. // That's what Lyra gave us, remember? How can you just give it away? //  
  
'I believe it isn't.' said the girl, amusement playing in her dark green eyes. Although if you wish it, William Parry, I shall return it to Lyra for you. Is she not the one who owns it?' her voice was once again soft, but the words that she had spoken shocked him out of his daze.  
  
Before he could say anything, she continued 'and I too, have a name. Gabrielle. You may call me by that, Will.'  
  
'What.how do you know? How do you know about Lyra.and me.everything? HOW?'  
  
He was holding her by the shoulders, shaking her without even realising it. He couldn't believe that there was anyone else out there who even DARED to know of what he had shared with her. Kirjava was doing her best to snarl and his at the black cat, who merely sat unruffled on his human's shoulder.'  
  
It didn't seem to bother Gabrielle. She merely stood there until he had stopped, and then carefully checked her shoulders for bruises, completely ignoring him. Finally, she turned to face him and said  
  
'Wouldn't you like to know, William?'  
  
a smile was playing over her face again, but before Will could interrupt with another angry comment, she said  
  
'Think rationally, Will. You are standing here, in the middle of a cold December night, soaked to the bone and about to catch a cold if you haven't caught one already. And, dare I say it, you're not exactly in the best part of town either. So listen to me fully. You and I, we need to talk. But I suggest that instead of getting into a fight on the streets as you seem well inclined to do, that we go somewhere else. And, conveniently, I happen to have an apartment in one of the better areas of London. If you come now, we can finish off our discussion before your mother and Mary have the chance to get worried. So why don't you accompany me there, and we can talk rationally instead of passionately? If you do wish to come, I will answer your questions as fully as I can. If not, then don't expect to see me ever again. Think on it for a few minutes with Kirjava, when she can kindly stop trying to attack my daemon, but that's all I'm giving you. OK?'  
  
'yes.' Will managed to whisper through chattering teeth. Gabrielle was right. It was bitterly cold, and that fact was only just catching up with him.  
  
+but how do we know it isn'tsome kind of trap. That she doesn't want to hurt us?+  
  
//we don't//  
  
+I suppose we have no choice?+  
  
//it depends, Will, on whether we can go for the rest of our life without finding out if she knows something that we want to know. Maybe something about Lyra, or even Pan'//  
  
the voice of her thoughts seemed to crack with the last word, and it made Will realise, finally, just how much pain Kirjava was going through at the loss of Pan.  
  
+it's worth the risk+  
  
//yes//  
  
and with that quiet reassurance, he turned to face Gabrielle again.  
  
'yes.'  
  
'I knew you'd come to that conclusion, somehow. So much like your father'  
  
but as they left, Will couldn't help thinking  
  
+curiosity killed the cat+ and his stomach turned to lead as he looked at Kirjava, her face so full of hope once again.  
  
Mwahahahaha! Yes, I know I'm evil. Yes I know it's short, but I think I prefer to do it in lots of good short bits than boring prolonged chapters. Did you like it? Please review. And think of Daemons names, please? Gabrielle might get a bit less weird as the story progresses, but I can't make any promises^_~  
  
Spoilers --- -- - Elaine and Mary have a secret that they are planning to tell Will when he comes home, but as it turns out, he has many more that have been revealed. And what excalt does Gabrielle tell him? And who is she anyway?  
  
Can't make any promises on the last question, but please stay tuned ( 


	5. author's apology

Just an author's note apology kinda thingy...  
  
Heylo there loyal fans! *peers around for fans but finds none* I know, I know, I've been a very bad girl and not updated for yonks. I've been so busy! I promise I'll try and finish it soon, okay? The next chapter is in the works, I'll put it up in a couple of days. Hope you like it, asilin and whoever else might chance upon it ^_~  
  
Oh yes and if anyone has any problems with a very small sub-plot lesbian thing I'm writing in for a friend, please speak now or forever hold your peace.  
  
*summons threatening look of doom*  
  
You have been warned! 


	6. Introducing Michael!

This chapter dedicated to Kheldarson, for helping me get the plot of the story sorted out, and Smelabel, for reviewing and motivating me to keep writing! (  
  
*flashback* (AN: sorry, sorry, I'll try to stop doing them, but they are kinda needed)  
  
Will and Lyra walked away from the two women to savour their last precious moments together, leaving Mary and Serefina to get better acquainted. As the four of them stood, talking quietly to each other, each absorbed in the fact that soon they would be parting ways forever. None of them noticed the slight change in the shadows in the background, the two figures blending almost perfectly into the trees.  
  
"Must they do this, Lady Gabrielle?"  
  
"Be quiet, Michael. We do not want them to notice us, remember? It is necessary for this to happen, yes. Indeed, it MUST happen if the events are to take place in the correct way."  
  
There was no response, merely a sullen silence  
  
The taller shadow's voice softened slightly "Compassion is not a bad trait, Michael, just remember that we should not let it get in the way of our purpose"  
  
Michael smiled up at her, though this action was lost in the dark of the night. "I understand now, milady"  
  
Both figures continued to watch as the four friends parted for (A/N: what they thought was *winks discreetly ^_~) the last time.  
  
"It is done. Now we may proceed with the next course of action."  
  
"Yes, milady."  
  
And neither Will nor Mary noticed them depart...  
  
*end flashback*  
  
A/N: don't you just hate me for all these cliffhangers and unexplained characters :P Next chappie up almost immediately. I know this was short, but short and sweet, eh? ^_^  
  
And remember....  
  
REVIEW!REVIEW!REVIEW! 


	7. Life is unfair

First off... Thank you to panfan, burning waters, vella, kaiserdragon52 and Countess Kheldarson (well, she gets the joke :P) for reviewing. I would do a gushy "you're the best you guys you keep me going etc etc" thing here, but I figure you'll have read enough of those anyways. Suffice it to say, I love reviews (which author doesn't?), so please keep writing them.   
  
This chapter dedicated to Vella for being there and helping me to get the plot sorted out, even when I've had too much caffeine Vella...you really are the best. In your honour, I'm gonna give you a cameo in the next chapter, if you want it. Tho I'll probably have to change the name so people don't think it's an Eddings/Pullman crossover thingy. Don't worry, I'll keep the personality the same :P.  
  
And if any of you others want to be in the story, then keep suggesting daemon names, and the two I like best will be put into the story, and the reviewer(s) who suggested them will get a part too.  
  
Burning Waters, I like the two names you gave me. Do they have any meanings? What language are they in?  
  
Kaiserdragon52...umm...that's slightly scary, but your death threat and the boredom of my half term have finally pushed me to write the next chapter.  
  
And panfan- thanx for all those marvellously entertaining e-mails   
  
Okay, okay, I'll stop now. This chapter takes up in Lyra's Oxford, soon after she has reached home after leaving Will's world. Don't worry, I won't leave you in suspense about Will and Gabrielle forever, this next part is just necessary to the story.  
  
p.s. my writing style may vary just a tad depending on which universe I'm using...  
  
Lyra's Oxford  
  
Lyra surveyed her room. It was not, of course, the same room that she had inhabited prior to leaving Jordan College. That one had been small and functional, located in the servant quarters. This one was...magnificent. There was no other way to properly describe it. It was a scholar's room, given to her by the Master of Jordan College, despite the objections that rose from all quarters. The walls were a deep burgundy-red shade, with oak furnishings to match. A large fireplace lined one wall, and in it a huge fire burned away cheerily (A/N: I know they always burn cheerily, I just couldn't think of another word. Sorry). Another wall was lined completely with old tomes, faded with age. They were not, of course, Lyra's. They had belonged to the previous inhabitant, and the Master of Jordan College hadn't thought it necessary to remove them, yet.  
  
In one corner of the room sat a large writing desk, which held only one item. Lyra's prized possession, the alethiometer, gleaming in soft light of the naphtha lamps that lit the room. And in the centre of the room, the crowning masterpiece that only served to increase the magnificence of the surroundings- a splendid four-poster bed, made of oak, curtained all round with drapes of burgundy velvet.  
  
But what is this? The girl, Lyra, who sits on the bed, is crying. From the looks of it, sobbing her heart out. Her gaze is fixed on the alethiometer on the desk, and on the heavy books that she is supposed to use to relearn the art now lost to her. Unlike the alethiometer, the books are dumped unceremoniously on the floor; the pages of these precious manuals, once lovingly cared for, now permanently damaged and creased.  
  
The girl, Lyra, lifts her hands to her face. Ferociously, she digs at her eyes, willing the tears to stop. "It's not fair, Pan, it's just not fair! We used to know this, we used to understand!"  
  
"I know, Lyra, I know." Lyra's beloved daemon, Pantalaimon, jumps up to her on the edge of her bed, sliding to her neck, offering her all the comfort that his presence can give.  
  
"Remember, Pan, we used it to save the world, all the universes once, but now, it won't even let me find out where he is, if he's still alive!" She has removed her hands from her eyes now, her sobs shortening to choking gasps of tears, and uses them to hold her daemon close to her, but this serves only to sharpen the memory of another whose body she held close to her once, and she once again begins to cry.  
  
"Lyra, my dearest, I know that he is okay. Don't ask me how, Lyra, I just know it. I know that I would feel it if...if anything ever happened to him. Or to Kirjava"  
  
She calms down slightly. She knows in her heart that what Pan says is true. The practical part of her, however, still demands the facts. She giggles slightly as Pan reaches up to her face, gently wiping away her tears. It tickles! She is just about to tell him how much she loves him, how happy she is that they will both be going to the school tomorrow and she will finally have a proper education, how glad she is that she still has him when all others have gone, when she is suddenly overcome by a feeling of nausea. She gets up, inadvertently throwing her daemon from her, and runs to one of the two doors in her room, leading to her bathroom. She opens it and runs straight to the toilet, bending over and retching. She continues till she feels weak, so weak and sick. But she can't control it. Once she is done, she sinks slowly to the floor, eyes half-shut, as her faithful Pantalaimon begins to clean her up. "Pan, oh Pan- I don't know what came over me." She whispers shakily. "Pantalaimon?" "Yes Lyra?" "I'm scared."  
  
end of chapter  
  
heeheehee, dontcha just love me for never seeming to finish a chapter properly? :P  
  
anyways, I hope you like it. The next chapter is also going to be set in Lyra's Oxford, because I seem to be finding it easier to write it her POV for the moment. Will update sooner than I did last time, I promise. Bye for now. And remember, the moral of the story is...  
  
REVIEW!!!!! 


	8. The truth, and you can't change it

Yellow green and blue there! (don't ask!) I've decided that, while I'm in the flow of things, I might as well write this chapter too. So here you are, the story continues in Lyra's Oxford.  
  
Thanx kaiserdragon52. Well do I know the effects of caffeine ...and Eanna. Prepare to meet your dear Johnny   
  
Oh yeah I forgot to mention this earlier. Kairi- Mary's hair is BLACK. Got that? It isn't red. If you think it is, I suggest you read the books again and find out.  
  
Lyra's Oxford  
  
She walked down the hallway, head held high, daemon by her side, the regal expression on her face betraying nothing of her feelings. She wore a long golden gown, simply cut, with a sweeping neckline that showed off her developing body. (A/N: between you and me, Lyra wishes it'd be a bit more developed). Around her neck she wore a pendant- a miniature version of an alethiometer, a special gift from the Master. Nothing of the way she looked, the manner in which she walked, the way in which she greeted the Scholars-none of it gave away what she was feeling inside.  
  
After the earlier episode of nausea, she had returned to her room and collapsed weakly onto her bed. When she woke again, something, a door in her mind seemed to have opened, and all of a sudden she knew what to do. She had taken up the alethiometer again, and this time she knew which questions she had to ask. The answers had, once again, flashed clearly into her mind. She knew now, for sure. And now that she did, she found herself wishing otherwise. She made her way to the Blue Dining Room. It was a curiosity of Jordan, that many of its rooms were named in this way, using colours or precious stones. She walked in, made small talk with the scholars, who had slowly come to accept the fact that they could not change the Master's mind as far as Lyra was concerned. She ate her dinner, which was, of course, delicious. But all the while, she could not stop feeling that there were butterflies in her stomach, and she couldn't stop thinking of it.  
  
What would they think if they knew, she mused. If they knew that their dear, beloved, DARLING Lyra was pregnant. And that the father of her child had deserted and betrayed her.  
  
Because, of course, that is what the alethiometer had showed her.  
  
End of chapter  
  
yup, yup. I know. I'm evil.  
  
Remember to review 


	9. Revelations are almost made

And here's the next one. We meet a new character. Hope you like him. I know Eanna will Again Lyra's world.  
  
Dedicated to Eanna for being the all round comic relief for me whilst I was writing this. Meh, she knows what I mean :D  
  
Lyra's Oxford  
  
Lyra drew in her breath, gripping Pantalaimon so hard with her hand that he winced. Now or never, Lyra, she reminded herself.  
  
"Master?"  
  
"...and that's why we need to hold the party tomo...yes, Lyra?"  
  
"Could I please talk to you?"  
  
The Master of Jordan College looked at her, wearing a bemused expression "Isn't that what we're doing now, child?"  
  
"No...I mean...it's important, sir."  
  
It was after dinner of the same night in which Lyra had realised the truth. She was now sitting in a comfortable chair in the Master's study, discussing the finer details of her imminent move. Or at least, that was what he thought. Lyra, however, had more pressing things than packing on her mind. As she sat in her chair, lulled half-asleep by the warmth from the fire and the soft light shed by the naphtha lamps, she wished that she did not have to end it this way. But she believed that honesty was the best policy, and so, in a way, she had to do it. She would tell the Master about her condition, he would then have no option but to throw her out or suffer complete disgrace, and she would find herself, again, homeless. Maybe she could return to the Gypsies. Or the Witches. Perhaps Serefina Pekkala would take her in. but what if they didn't? She pushed all these thoughts from her mind and turned to face the Master, looking directly into his piercing grey eyes, which were, apart from his brain, the only part of him that had not begun to suffer from the advances of old age.  
  
"Master...I have terrible news. And, I am afraid; it is news that will make you hate me. But before I tell you...I need you to know that I didn't mean for any of it to happen. Though I suppose its too late to change things now. Though this doesn't mean I don't want these things to happen. That is..." she tailed off and sighed, once again gazing into the fire. Since she had returned to Jordan, she had found the Master to be the only one who could, and would, truly understand some of what she had been through. She did not want to keep this from him, but she couldn't hide it forever!  
  
The Master looked at her, perplexed. She seemed stooped somehow, broken. As though she was carrying a heavy burden, one far too heavy for someone her age. Yet he could not find the words to tell her how he felt...that she was the closest thing he had ever had, and would have, to a daughter.  
  
Just as he was about to speak, there was a knock at the door, and Cousins entered it, holding it open for the visitor. "May I introduce to you, Sir, Master Jonathan Lorell." 


	10. Master Jonathan Lorell

**A/N: We are back to Lyra's Oxford, and I am finally updating again after such a long break. There is a good reason- I have been writing, editing and re-writing so much that I haven't really had time to post anything for you. Hope you like**.

**Lyra's Oxford**

Lyra stared at the door, eyes wide, transfixed with shock. A small, rational part of her brain said that there was no way she could be seeing what she _thought_ she was seeing. The rest of her was trying to resist the impulse to run to the door and throw herself into his arms.

A tall boy was entering the room, ducking his head slightly so that he could fit through the doorway. His long, black hair swung over his face, shielding it from view.

"Well, uncle, I don't remember that I was afforded such a grand introduction the last time I came to stay!" he lifted his head and grinned at the Master. His daemon, an arctic fox, leaped from his feet into his arms, and the spell was broken.

"He's not Will" Lyra breathed to herself, forcing herself to remember that fact. His build had seemed so familiar, and with his face obscured by his hair, in the soft light of the naphtha lamps, she had... she had hoped for the impossible. She quashed the hope that had welled up inside herself viciously. _Lyra_, she reminded herself, _you don't have room left for hope anymore._

"Good evening to you too, Jonathan. That was Cousins you met at the door, a butler of sorts. He helps me with tasks that have grown somewhat difficult with the passing of the years. I'm not as young as I used to be, as I'm sure you can see." replied the Master.

"Ah, you're not as old as you pretend to be, uncle, you've still got a few years left in you. Although...you are a bit on the battered side, I'll agree with that" To Lyra, Jonathan's grin seemed slightly more strained this time, the atmosphere beginning to regain the tension that his arrival had dispelled.

"And I see you've still got the same complete and utter disregard for manners as you did before. Haven't you noticed that I have a guest visiting, Jonathan?"

Jonathan turned, and seemed to notice Lyra for the first time. His grin became, if possible, even wider. "No, I hadn't noticed. And you are...?"

"Lyra." She barely managed to choke the word out. He resembled Will so much in looks, and his mannerisms were so much like those of Roger's that she was suddenly sharply reminded of her two best friends, both of which she had somehow managed to lose. She couldn't help staring at him.

"Lyra." Jonathan contented himself with simply staring back at her.

The Master decided that this would be a good point to break up the moment, reminding himself never to leave these two in a room alone together. People of their age, they hated being called children, but they weren't mature enough to be called adults. They got up to all sorts of crazy things, something which he hoped wouldn't be happening here. "Would you like some Chocolatl, Jonathan? I can send Cousins out to fetch some from the kitchens. It's fairly cold outside, and you have just travelled a long way. Some refreshment would be just the thing, isn't that so?"

"Uhh...yes, thank you, uncle. What did you say, again?"

And, the Master noted, he was _still_ staring at Lyra.

**A/N: anyone who's read about Lyra's World will know that Chocolatl is _not_ a typo. It is hot chocolate, people! **

**And, before the public outcry begins, Jonathan is not just a Gary Stu put into this story for the purpose of seducing/ rescuing Lyra. May i remind you that Lyra is a tough one, plenty capable of looking after _herself!_**** You have only read him this once remember, so don't fret about him. I've got plenty of things planned for this particular OC of mine, and from what I know about his character, which is more than I have revealed about him yet, he is not perfect. Far from it.**


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